Death is not the end
by kabo
Summary: Takes place in the middle of episode 4 04, right in the moment when Monty starts to read Clarke's list of the 100 people who will survive inside the Alpha station. Clarke decides to leave Arkadia, but her yearning for the flame will take her to the war zone between Azgeda and Skaikru. And like that Wanheda will be awoken.


**Just want to say that few (a lot) of Skaikru will die so prepare for that :D**

 **Btw don't worry there is only one spoiler about Monty reading the list :D ..then it's all me :D -** **It's how I wanted 4x4 and 4x5 to go**

 **Also as always huge thank you to NutHeda who made it readable :D**

* * *

Clarke's eyes were glued to the ground as she listened to Monty reading the hundred names she wrote down as the possible candidates for survival. She felt the stares of every Arker resting on her body as they slowly advanced in her direction. She risked one look around and immediately regretted it as she saw the expressions of her people. They were looking at her with anger, disgust, and much like Monty himself- with disappointment.

It wasn't until someone shoved her that she snapped out of her momentary haze. "Why am I not on the list Clarke? Am I not worth saving?"

Clarke quickly shook her head and turned to young man. "It's not like that. You're only a trainee on guard. We won't need those."

"So I'm replaceable?" The young man looked at blonde with wide eyes and roughly shoved her again. "Then why is she there." He pointed at a young girl in the crowd that had already formed around Clarke. "She is **only** a trainee on a guard too."

Clarke looked at the young woman for a moment and gulped. "Women can bear children…"

Instead of the man in front of her, it was Monty who's accusing voice pierced through the air, "Then why not Harper?"

Clarke hung her head lowly, unable to look at the Arkers around her anymore and clenched her fists. "She has a higher chance of getting sick."

Monty looked at her with wide eyes. "You were looking into our medical records?"

Many other insults and questions followed, but all Clarke could hear was the blood in her ears. ' _I'm doing my best, why does no one see that? I did not wish to write that list. I don't even want to be on the damn list; if it wasn't for that idiot, Bellamy, who decided for me._

She clenched her fists more and she could feel her nails cutting into her skin and thin trickles of blood were running down her palms. ' _I'm trying all the time and no one ever gives a damn about what I want. Well at least no one who is still alive. Lexa. I wish I could see her once again. The commander would know what to do, but she is not here.'_ Her shoulders slumped forward slightly and she shut her eyes hard, in an effort to keep all of the tears contained. ' _I sacrificed Lexa, and for what? For people who don't give a damn about the grounders at all. All that Arkadians want is to save their own sorry asses. If it wasn't for Bellamy, they could have saved all five hundred of them. Actually, if it wasn't for him, Lexa would be still alive - and I would be happy.'_

An inhuman growl emanated from Clarke's throat as she raised her head and locked her eyes, still full of unshed tears, with Monty. "Fine!"

Silence fell around them as she closed the small gap that separated her from the boy. She snatched the list from his grasp. "Screw you!" She started tearing it apart and looked around the crowd while screaming, "Screw all of you! I'm done with being your punching bag. If you're so damn sure that you'd be better without me, then so be it!" With that she threw the pieces of paper into air and left the Arkadia, left the people gaping behind her.

* * *

Clarke found an unoccupied cave a decent distance away from Arkadia where she dwelled for a few days. She appreciated the silence of the woods. No one heard how she cried herself to sleep every single night, or how she screamed when she dreamt of pools of black blood, over and over again.

She sat, slumped around the fire roasting a tiny squirrel she caught that morning, and was engrossed in her thoughts. ' _I will not go back to Arkadia. I have survived on my own for three months; I'll die in two more anyway. The people there don't like me because they don't understand… no one does. Not anymore.'_ Her shoulders fell forward even more, almost impossibly so. She missed Lexa with every fiber of her being. ' _At least I still had the flame, until I went back to Arkadia.'_

She took a deep breath, and with new found determination she stood up. ' _If we're all going to die in two months, I will make sure that I die with Lexa close to me.'_

She got up and extinguished the flames - the roasted squirrel long forgotten as she slowly made her way in the direction of Polis.

* * *

Clarke was walking on a path, one she knew very well, for a few hours when she heard sounds of hooves - hundreds of hooves she thought warily.

Her curiosity got the better of her and she decided to follow the noises. Clarke was crouched low so whoever was making the ruckus would not be able to see her, not without specifically looking for her at least.

She was slowly approaching the gap between two ridges where the sounds were coming from. She took cover behind one rock and glanced down. What she saw didn't take her breath away, not even her eyes went wide. She was beyond caring about other people's problems at this point, so when she saw huge army directly below her with Roan at its lead, headed for Arkadia, she simply accepted it as a fact - people were about to die.

But what surprised her was the fact that she really didn't care. She didn't care if Skaikru and Azgeda would murder each other, if all her friends will die in the battle, or if she could save them.

Through the corner of her eye, she saw some movement on the other ridge, but she didn't pay it any mind, instead of doing so she adjusted her eyes so she could take a better look at Roan. ' _He has the flame. All I have to do is watch him and hope that someone will kill him, so I can take the flame from his dead body.'_ A few days ago she would scold herself for having these kinds of thoughts, but now… after everything she has gone through, she's just accepted the fact that she was never, and will never be the good guy. After all, she is Wanheda.

Down below her, Clarke saw Roan halting his army with a simple hand gesture and dismounting, headed for someone who was blocking their path.

Clarke cursed under her breath and moved away from the rock to see who it was.

There he was, right in front of Roan was standing Jaha. ' _Probably my replacement.'_ Clarke thought.

"Roan, there is no need for violence we can just talk about this."

The grounder shook his head and hissed, "You lied to me!"

It was Jaha's turn to shake his head. "We did not…." But before he could finish Roan unsheathed his sword and with one swift motion decapitated the dark skinned man's head. "Jus drein jus daun."

The army behind him gave a shouts of 'Jus drein jus daun' as well.

Once again Clarke was surprised by her lack of caring. She should feel something: Sadness that one of the people she knew from very young age died, or happiness that her father was avenged, but there was nothing, just numbness.

Once again the same movement was seen out of the corner of Clarke's eye on the opposite ridge, but before she could look there she heard gunshots from all directions.

Clarke saw Harper, Miller, and few other guards shoot at the grounders below them. The panic between the warriors immediately spread as many of them fell dead to the ground. She saw Roan sprint away and mount his horse.

That was the moment she finally felt something - panic. She could not lose the flame when she was finally so close, so she got up from her crouching position, and with all her effort she made her way down- holding to rocks and trying not to slip in the process.

The blonde didn't know how, but by some miracle she managed to have her feet touch the ground without getting hurt. Once everyone saw her, the shooting and chaos between immediately stopped as all eyes turned to her.

Clarke didn't pay them any attention as she looked at Roan with a raised chin and ordered, "I want the flame, Roan."

He grinned at her smugly. "I don't care what **you** want, Wanheda. You're not the one with an army at your back."

Clarke took another threatening step towards him, to the point where she was in his personal space.

Arrows were immediately raised and aimed at her, but Roan stopped his warriors before they could take their shots.

Clarke growled, "I don't care what conflicts you have with Skaikru. I want just the flame, then you can kill each other for all I care.."

She could hear many gasps behind from the Skaikru moved, who were moving away from the edge to see and hear Clarke better. Even few of grounders looked at each other, clearly confused by her words.

Roan growled back at her and spoke through gritted teeth, "I don't have the flame."

Clarke was so taken aback by the words that she had to physically take one step back to put some distance between them. She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't see Roan motioning behind him. Echo emerged, leading two people with sacks over their heads in front of Clarke. The grounder quickly kicked back of the knees of her prisoners, so they fell into a kneeling position in front of the blonde. The moment after both of their knees hit the ground, Echo ripped the sacks off of their heads.

Clarke was brought back from her inner musings when the king clearing his throat. She refocused her eyes on him and saw Bellamy and Kane kneeling in front of her. That was not what she wanted, so she snapped her head back to Roan and looked him dead in the eye. "Give me the flame!"

Roan completely ignored her demand. "You know I have a decision, one you will have to make. One of these two will die today." He motioned to Kane and Bellamy. "And you will decide which one. After all, you are the one who commands death, are you not?" He smirked in Clarke's direction. "And the other will live to see another day… then he will die by our hand. At least he'll have the one day to anticipate it." With that he threw a sword to Clarke's feet.

Clarke's eyes were glues on Roan for his entire monologue. She worked her jaw back and forth in frustration from being ignored. "THE. FLAME. ROAN."

"I don't have it," came the calm response.

"Then where it is?"

He rolled his eyes and motioned to the sword at her feet. "Kill one and I will give you the information you want."

Without a second thought, Clarke grabbed the sword and moved to the two prisoners kneeling in front of her. Both of them were looking back at her with the same scared expression, but neither said anything.

"Let me tell you what I think about your idiotic conditions." She growled again before slicing the throats of both of men in front of her. Nothing; once again she felt nothing. She just killed man who wished for peace, like he was nothing, and she couldn't bring herself to care.

To her surprise, while Kane was lying dead, unmoving on the ground, Bellamy was different story. He was holding his neck as he tried to stop the blood from leaving his body while looking at Clarke with a terrified expression. "You can't C-Clarke." He managed to choke out.

' _I can't but he can kill three hundred sleeping people for nothing? He can condemn four hundred people to death so he can be a hero by saving 25 in exchange? He jeopardized everything that I've ever done.'_ The longer her thoughts went on, the more her grip around the handle of the sword tightened. ' _If I killed him sooner, Lexa would be alive.'_ She ground her teeth and with a war cry she cut off his right arm, but allowed the left one to stay intact.

With an agonizing scream, the man fell onto the ground and squirmed around as blood slowly left his body.

Yes, Clarke could kill him and end his misery, but she was beyond caring about any sky person, and he did not deserve mercy anyway. So instead of running the weapon through his body, she kicked his abdomen with all her strength few times and watched as his movements became smaller and fewer after a few moments while the pool of blood under his body only became larger.

When she was sure that Bellamy's body would never move again, Clarke refocused her gaze on a wide eyed Roan. "So the flame…"

Roan eventually collected himself after a few seconds and stared back at her with smirk. "Was destroyed."

In that moment, Clarke's entire world froze. She could not fully comprehend what the king had just said; all she could do was look at him with her mouth slightly agape. ' _I can't lose Lexa, not like this.'_

The blonde did not see Octavia running to the body of her brother - crying and trying to wake him. She did not see all of the Skaikru who were behind her quickly running to them, her mother kneeling next to the body of Kane doing the same things as Octavia.

Clarke shook her head. "Yo-you're lying," she choked out. When she saw the king shaking his head she screamed in his face. "YOU'RE LYING!"

That was it: That was the last straw for Clarke Griffin. She gave up on living the moment the love of her life died in her arms, but even during that time she at least had the flame - a little bit of a hope to hold on, but now…there was nothing: No love, no living, and finally, no surviving either. With one swift motion she sliced the king's throat and his grin immediately faded as his dead body hit the ground.

She did not wait for anything and impaled Echo next. The blonde took the dagger from the grounder's holster and threw it at the Azgeda warrior who was closest to her, hitting him precisely in the eye.

In the meantime, all the Skaikru quickly dragged Abby and Octavia away from the dead bodies while they watched Clarke with terrified expressions. No, she was no longer Clarke, the **thing** they were seeing now was every bit Wanheda. They saw as she sliced through every warrior that charged at her every now and then. They heard the inhuman growls escaping her lips.

The king's army started to panic as they saw Wanheda cutting through them without any sign of stopping. At first, it was just few of them who turned around and started sprinting away from the demon in front of them, but soon more and more were joining them until the whole army was running away - back to safety of the Polis.

Wanheda was just standing there, covered in the blood of many grounders, and Kane's and Bellamy's, while also breathing heavily with her fingers still wrapped tightly around her sword.

It was Monty who decided to inch closer. He took slow and careful steps as he was closing the distance. "Clarke?" The blonde didn't react in any way to the name so he decided to put his hand on her shoulder. "Clarke we should…"

Before he could finish Wanheda turned in his grasp and ran her sword through his body. He looked down at the wound with wide eyes as Wanheda ripped the sword out, and with push to his shoulder she let him fall on the ground.

Harper immediately screamed her lover's name and had to be held back by Miller so she did not run to the now dead body.

Wanheda raised her head from the corpse and smirked at the Arkadians waiting in front of her. It evicted gasps and petrified expressions from the entire crowd. Her eyes were completely black - without a single trace of the blue that they had gotten to know through their time spent with the girl.

Wanheda took the arrow that was embedded in her right shoulder from her short lived battle with Azgeda, not even flinching at the pain it had to evoke. Truth to be told, she didn't even feel it as she didn't feel anything anymore - neither emotionally or physically. Black blood started pooling from her wound, but no one seemed to notice.

She let the arrow fall from her hand to ground as she switched the sword back to her dominant hand. "Jus drein jus daun."

Before any of the Skaikru could react she teared through the three men that were closest to her and they sank to the ground, as many had that day.

Octavia was the first to recover and she brought her sword up to block Wanheda's attempt at murdering another person. "YOU MURDERER!"

Wanheda didn't bother to answer as she easily deflected every swing that Octavia sent her way. Instead of that, she murmured under her breath, "Weak, weak, weak… You're all so weak."

Octavia was quickly losing her strength to fight as nothing seemed to stop the blonde girl from advancing. It even looked like she was getting stronger every passing second. With a mighty roar, Wanheda swung her sword and chopped off the other girl's leg.

With cry of pain Octavia fell on her back while Wanheda towered over her with an amused smirk. The blonde positioned her sword to Octavia's neck and tortuously slowly started plunging the point downwards.

Terrifying bubbling sounds were heard from the girl on the ground as she tried to stop the advancing sword with her hands by gripping it tightly. In the process she even cut off few of her fingers, but she was very quickly losing the blood and her strength faded away - followed by her life.

When Wanheda took her sword from the dead body she turned to the remaining three Skaikru standing there, everyone else was quickly running away. Both Miller and Harper were aiming their guns at her while her mother was just looking at her with wide eyes. ' _My mother.'_ The thought made her chuckle darkly.

She took one step closer to them when a shot rang out in the silence. "One step closer and I won't miss Clarke," Harper warned.

Wanheda once again growled. "Clarke is dead - I am Wanheda." She looked at the other blonde more closely and saw her shaking from fear and probably even anger. "No matter what you do, you will all die the same fate as them." She motioned at the bodies behind her.

Another shot rang out, but this time it was Abby who pulled the trigger with shaky hands and hit the creature in front of them in the left arm. The doctor furrowed her brows as she finally noticed the black liquid pooling from the girl's injury.

Wanheda smirked smugly and used the other woman's confusion to her advantage as she attacked, and with one swift motion she decapitated the doctor and even managed to run her sword through Miller who was looking at her with wide eyes and released his gun.

When both of the dead bodies hit the ground Wanheda was met with crying Harper and barrel of the gun aimed at her head. "H-How?"

Wanheda's smirk only grew wider as she shrugged. "Have you ever heard of the legend about Wanheda?" She was not actually expecting the other blonde to answer so she continued. "They're saying that Wanheda is a demon from the deepest pit of hell and is only chosen by the strongest to bare her soul." Once again Wanheda shrugged and threw the sword away. "Clarke fought my take over long enough, but after her other half died it was becoming easier to get out and now… well let's just say that she is no longer fighting."

"You killed them all… and Monty..." Harper's voice shook at the name of her dead lover.

Wanheda shrugged once again. "I am, in the end, the commander of death, aren't I?"

It was enough for Harper to start shooting. Luckily, or unfortunately enough, her arms were trembling so she didn't hit the head of other blonde. She emptied the whole magazine into Wanheda's body.

Wanheda looked down at all of her newly acquired injuries and fell to her knees - not even trying to slow the blood that was leaving her. She turned her head towards other blonde and sent her sad but a real smile this time. "Thank you." With that she fell to the ground still watching Harper and smiling.

Harper's eyes went wide as she saw Clarke's eyes returning back to their normal blue color.

Clarke turned her gaze away from the other blonde to look at her right where she saw her favorite pair of green eyes staring back at her. She knew it was probably just her imagination and blood loss playing tricks, but she couldn't stop the huge smile from breaking out across her face. "I miss you."

Lexa knelt down next to her and cupped her cheek. "Don't worry Clarke, death is not the end."

Clarke couldn't hold it anymore; after many weeks she finally let her tears slip down her cheeks. "You promise?" She tried to take other girl's hand into her own, but her limbs felt too heavy.

Lexa noticed and took Clarke's hand in her own while she nodded. "We will meet again, as we always do." She smiled at the blonde in front of her who was desperately trying to catch a breath. "And we will fall in love again."

Clarke looked into green eyes and saw nothing other than the truth. With the last bit of her strength she choked out, "I lo-love you," as her eyes were slowly closing.

Lexa nodded as tears started falling from her eyes too. "I love you too."

The last thing Clarke felt before the darkness consumed her were Lexa's lips on her own.

* * *

She awoke up with a startle and heavy breaths. ' _Where am I?'_ She quickly sat up on the couch where she had apparently fallen asleep. She looked around and noticed that she couldn't actually recognize her surroundings. She was in some kind of living room, the same as she saw in the movies back on the Ark. She furrowed her brows when she looked at the table and her eyes laid on something that looked like a card with photo of herself. She took it from the place where it laid and she read out loud. "Birth date: October 24 1993, nationality: Australia, name: Elyza Lex." Her eyes went wide as she viewed the ID card in her hands. "What the hell?" After few moments she remembered her last few memories from before she woke up, and she smiled sadly at the card in her hand. "I will find you Lexa, and no one will hurt you this time," she promised before preparing to leave the house.

* * *

 **well...that was satisfying :D ... I realized that I really enjoy writing how Clarke/Wanheda is killing the skaikrats :D**

 **As I'm unsure if I will ever turn this into Lexark story (I'm a huge trash for Lexark :D) I'm leaving this as completed (but there is always an possibility of me going crazy and deciding to write some more :D)**

 **If you like the story please leave the comment they always make my day =)**


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